these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
