I feel great
I just peed on a car
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
