Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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