You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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