I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
