It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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