guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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