I've blown a few things in my day
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
