After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she smelled like a LAN party
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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