Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
