dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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