So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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