grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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