We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
