her vagine was all disorganized.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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