I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize