Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
