well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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