Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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