im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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