My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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