We named our party play list daddy issues
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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