How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
