Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
