I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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