This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
