Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
