I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
