So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Everyone says I win the strip club
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