Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
