So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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