Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
