I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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