i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize