Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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