And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
