We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
