She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
they're like a gay fantastic four
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
