Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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