her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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