I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
