Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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