she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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