We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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