Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
