Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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