so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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