hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
