Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
