just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
