I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
