im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Someone came in the potted fern
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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