Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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