I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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