I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
