I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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