I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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