I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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