So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
