A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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