I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
