I hate all girls vehemently.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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