Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
