Only a mothe r could love this liver
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
