Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
