we have officially lost it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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